Anyone who knows me also knows that I appreciate sleeping a full 10 hours uninterrupted. But when I was 18, I decided to become a BAMF somehow and–a secondary concern–make friends. BAMFhood trumped friends. (Looking back, that might just be the first step in becoming a BAMF. ..Nice! Nailed it.)

Sports is a quick way to achieve both. “Now, which one should I pick?”, I asked. But what I should have asked was, “Which one will send my GPA into the toilet the fastest?” Because that’s what I chose.

I had few selection criteria in mind. Chiefly, with no prior experience in sports, I needed a sport that had no joining standards beyond showing up and giving it your all, and with minor expense attached. That left three: crew, rugby, and frisbee. Perhaps I’ll talk about my brief (to the 10th power) encounter with rugby later. But since rugby came later, and frisbee is for dogs and stoners, you can be sure I went with crew. Maybe I had checked out and gone to the chocolate factory in my mind, because there is nothing in this world that interferes with a beautiful, restful slumber in quite the same way as a rigorous weight lifting and rowing schedule.

The Positives

  1. Watching the sun rise over the hills in the distance and seeing the thousand-color-effect reflecting off the water, which surrounded me for miles. This also combined with the soothing morning bird chirps.
  2. Amazing abs and thighs
  3. Increased lung capacity x10
  4. Eating a Paul Bunyonesque breakfast after 3 hours of exercise and then taking a nap, confident with myself.

The Lame Parts

  1. Knowing that post-breakfast nap is concurrent with my first class of the day, and that I haven’t attended it in over a month.
  2. Hearing that alarm clock and shuffling down to the docks in cold, wet weather bundled in three layers of track suits.
  3. Pneumonia
  4. The shitty people.
  5. Hearing your asshole, 5 ft tall coxswain teeter about her navy boys and then shout commands,  interrupting the bird chirps.

To be sure, I don’t regret joining. For 6 months I was fit as a whistle, confident with my self image (somehow, despite not having made friends yet), and experienced the wonderment of the morning from an amazing (but exhausting) perspective. If I could have done crew twice a week only, with no regatta trips, and with more interesting people I would have done it for the full four years. But 5 days a week was ruining my GPA as well as my rest, and the pneumonia put me over the edge. Whenever I hit a gym with an Urg machine, I dig in and have a nostalgic go of it. Truth be told, I’ve been investigating prices at Sears Online and will likely purchase one of these over a bike in April.

About Marpoo

Purveyor of sass and unsubstantiated rhetoric. View all posts by Marpoo

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