The tiresome act of new year’s resolutions came and went this year without much attention. Self betterment doesn’t come to mind during times of high self esteem. It creeps in when you’re at your lowest. I suppose in 2014 it took a month for the full swing. When you’re working for two, the artful side shuts down in self-preservation. “You don’t have time for self betterment, hobbies, or new pursuits,” the left brain tells the right. This state of mind is emotionally draining, and I’ve discovered that it has slow, creeping effects that might hit all at once one night while you start to cry after losing a game of chess. *cough*
As my partner becomes gainfully employed, my subconscious is allowing me to become acutely aware of options–options like self enrichment. Three years ago this blog was supposed to help me do just that through activity logs. I’m one who enjoys making lists (sidebar: That’s putting it mildly. I frigging LOVE making lists) and staying organized, and so here again I aim to get organized for the purpose of expression, pursuits, and mental health. My latest goals demand the following from me every week:
- Go to bikram yoga at least twice
- If no, go to local gym and run/bike at least thrice
- Take time to read from a leisure book (textbook doesn’t count, Mary. Neither do web articles.)
- Watch 1 documentary
- Perform 1 de-stress activity for enjoyment that doesn’t involve Netflix. This could be a puzzle, a board game, a long walk, a concert, etc.
These are perfectly reasonable goals. I’m not setting myself up for failure here. I believe these simple self improvement steps will go a long way to elevating my self esteem and mood. It’s so easy to forget (or claim inability) to perform these activities week after week when pulling overly full work days, worrying about money, giving into lethargy, fighting anxiety, and earning a Master’s degree by night. If I lose myself in the routine, I’ll be persistently unhappy. It’s time for a change. This blog just got an unusual dose of REAL TALK.
As a side note, I also need to adopt these measures for improved mental health in order to avoid further physical damage. Let me know if you have a similar stress symptom, but I compulsively crack my wrists and pinky fingers when I’m stressed. And I can’t stop; I do it until I have physical pain in my hands and wrist, even all the way up to my elbow. It’s now every single day. I put on a wrist wrap to apply pressure to the crack points, which helps make the act less frequent. However, my nervous system is quickly growing accustomed to the brace and beginning to ignore it. So, chill the fuck out, stress, so that I stop giving myself early onset arthritis! Jeezis.