The Many Dating Pools of Meh

Moms of the world, cool your cheese on the dating pool recommendations. When the Jewish mother voice wants to come out and teach me what’s-what over in babytown, please think again and keep your pro tips to yourselves.

RE the college pool: “You’ll find nice boys in college.”

I sure did, but who the hell wants to boink their college buddies? If they’re not in your buddy circle of “nope”, then they’re clinically depressed, hooking up with six other people, and/or high for half the week. I went to a “smoke your feelings” kind of school, so in my case it was all of the above at once.

RE the workforce pool: “You’ll meet nice, professional men at the office.”

For every 99 men over forty, there is a young-ish man with an OK face. This mini-pool is anxious about its goals, oscillates between completely desperate and completely noncommittal, or (if attractive enough) is still hitting it off with a college sweetheart. But all right, I’ll bite. So I date two guys at work, and boom…. having exes in the office is damned uncomfortable at lunch time. Who would have thought?

RE the graduate school pool: “Sharp shooters aplenty at grad school!”

My experience has shown that by this stage the men are married, house hunting, and popping babies out of their wives. This is probably program-specific… mine is definitely targeted for a crowd seeking highly niche professional development classes. Woe is me and my ladyboner with my professional credentials, lofty academic goals, and busy schedule. Now I’m “too intimidating”. Grand.


Anyway, moms, I’m perfectly happy doing my own thing and being a busy late twentier enjoying life. I just wish older generations would catch on that it’s completely O.K. and that I’m not secretly ten minutes away from overdosing. Stop sharing “advice” about “where to meet a man”, especially if your life is a paramount example of why I should continue giving zero fucks, or your knowledge on meeting men consists of high school, a community dance hall, or the grocery store. The grocery store! Nope, I’mma wear my sweatpants and last night’s smudged make-up to Harris Teeter. Sorry not sorry.

About Marpoo

Purveyor of sass and unsubstantiated rhetoric. View all posts by Marpoo

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