The Epidemic of Kink Culture Envy

I’m so over people feeling the need to wedge in “kinky” as a definitive part of their identity. When did kinky become a synonym for simply enjoying sex? Has our already puritanical rightwing conservative American culture backslid into complete Mormon nightgown territory when it comes to sexual exploration? And, why is it such a strain on the human psyche to consider one’s self to be sexually adequate and ordinary? Do we really need to start vanilla support groups so that ordinary people stop co-opting the lifestyle terms of other groups just to feel desirable? Why are there only two stops on the spectrum now: prude and hit-me-harder-daddy? People accept normalcy in so many other ways, but as soon as genitals enter the picture, people must be seen as members of some exclusive club for intercourse. Drop in those four magic letters (“BDSM”), and watch them cream in the glow of their sexual uniqueness (although when prompted to explain, they won’t be able to pinpoint a particular inclination for anything that might fall under those four categories.)

This is so annoyingly true while dating. A man probably thinks it sounds whimsical and spicy and sexually inviting to announce that he’s kinky, but I just laugh now. Sorry, literally every dude says he’s kinky. They have to think of themselves as kinky or else their dicks fall off, or something. Men can’t separate the porn that they watch from their actual performance and preferences. Sorry, gents, but it’s an absolute cliche now. Y’all ruined it for everyone else, in typical dude fashion.

Me, when they drop their kinky factor on the first date
hard-earned data analysis

About Marpoo

Purveyor of sass and unsubstantiated rhetoric. View all posts by Marpoo

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