Here I stand baking biscuits so that tomorrow morning my overnight guest and I can breakfast on eggs and biscuits with sausage gravy. Someone send help, I am wasting my time being this perfect while the men I see don’t even muster the will to shower before coming over, expect me to brush my teeth around the mold and years-old beard hairs in their sinks, and in one case doesn’t even do his own laundry (yes, really).
Yeah I know I’m wasting my time. But, I’ve tried being a worthless piece of shit to my dates and I couldn’t stand it. So, I’m doing it for me…. not for them. Fresh hair-do, perfect pedicure, lotion’d, makeup, clean outfit, freshly cleaned house, sheets just came outta the dryer, window open for breeze, candle lit; this is just who I am.
If men find my preparedness shaming, then cool, they probably should be ashamed. Shower and buy some groceries before your gotdammed booty calls, you overgrown teenagers.