The Male Race Doesn’t Deserve Me

Here I stand baking biscuits so that tomorrow morning my overnight guest and I can breakfast on eggs and biscuits with sausage gravy. Someone send help, I am wasting my time being this perfect while the men I see don’t even muster the will to shower before coming over, expect me to brush my teeth around the mold and years-old beard hairs in their sinks, and in one case doesn’t even do his own laundry (yes, really).

Yeah I know I’m wasting my time. But, I’ve tried being a worthless piece of shit to my dates and I couldn’t stand it. So, I’m doing it for me…. not for them. Fresh hair-do, perfect pedicure, lotion’d, makeup, clean outfit, freshly cleaned house, sheets just came outta the dryer, window open for breeze, candle lit; this is just who I am.

If men find my preparedness shaming, then cool, they probably should be ashamed. Shower and buy some groceries before your gotdammed booty calls, you overgrown teenagers.

About Marpoo

Purveyor of sass and unsubstantiated rhetoric. View all posts by Marpoo

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